![]() “Reflections.of Earth!” With a short hoosh! blow, he extinguishes all the lights around the lagoon. “We hope you enjoy our story tonight,” booms an unseen narrator, from hidden speakers on every corner of the Epcot globe. From both of these experiences, I got to understand a little better what women (with their perennially long bathroom lines) go through.Ĭaity: And then, finally, one thousand years after you first staked out your spot-when your great, great, great, great grandchildren’s bones have turned to dust when the last Dalmatian ever dies in captivity-the show begins. I also had to listen to the child ahead of me who was no older than 5 scream, “Mamá! MaMÁ!” every time the door opened and he saw his waiting mother outside. (A worker came in, looked at the pile of puke and then locked the door from the inside out.) This meant I had to wait in line for 10 minutes to pee, inhaling the urine smell of other dicks on top of the barf scent the entire time. It was a one-urinal/one-stall deal, and fascinatingly enough, someone had thrown up all over the floor of the stall, which meant it was out of commission because vomit does not fit in Disney’s idealized world under any circumstances. ![]() Imagine glaucoma, the end.Īll the anticipation made me have to pee, so I had you save our seats on the north side of the World Showcase Lagoon while I went to a nearby bathroom. Rich: The amber glow of Epcot after dark is maybe even more dazzling than the pyrotechnics. The automatic announcements stress over and over again that lights around the park will dim shortly before the show begins. Storms of bubbles float by on the breeze, fired out of light-up bubble guns that can be purchased from traveling carts. Motorized scooters illuminate the ground in front of them with their cyclops eyes. ![]() Announcements about the upcoming show play on a constant loop starting 30 minutes prior.Īs you approach the magic fireworks hour, people begin walking in the quick, purposeful strides that fall somewhere between lockstep and running. The show doesn’t even start until 9:00 p.m., but all the seats in the choicest viewing areas around the lagoon have been claimed by 8:05. This is their review.Ĭaity: You have to line up obscenely early for the IllumiNations: Reflections of Earth nightly fireworks show, not because you actually have to, but because Epcot expends so much effort making you believe you have to, that it creates a ripple panic effect through the park, and you end up actually having to. Caity Weaver and Rich Juzwiak, Gawker’s chief restaurant critics, recently ate, drank, and gasped their way through every international pavilion and theme park attraction at Walt Disney World’s Epcot.
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